Actions and Emptiness

With all of these words and nothing of meaning
I can't believe that I can't be dreaming
All of this venom and pride and this leaving
I can't take this any more
I won't take this anymore

Let's stop speaking, stop breathing these words without being
A mirror of all we're believing we're seeing
In ourselves, in each other, in the actions and emptiness
Let's love each other and forget our uncleanliness

I remember December with it's cold biting weather
And whatever we said that could tear us forever
Apart from the knot that should tie us together
Blood shouldn't even open the door
So I'll seek to close it forevermore

Let's stop speaking, stop breathing these words without being
A mirror of all we're believing we're seeing
In ourselves, in each other, in the actions and emptiness
Let's love each other and forget our unfriendliness

I'm still seeking and stealing these moments of leaving
Believing revealing hurts more than concealing
The pain and the anger and tears that I'm feeling
But here I stand asking once more
Forgive me for who I was before

Let's stop speaking, stop breathing these words without being
A mirror of all we're believing we're seeing
In ourselves, in each other, in the actions and emptiness
I love you and I hate my defensiveness

I'm ashamed of my actions, distractions from seeing
The man I'd become and the Christ I was beating
Deceiving myself so that all I was being
Was something I can't take anymore
So I won't close my eyes anymore

See here, Padawan

There was a time, it seems to me, that when an individual wished to learn a trade. Perhaps so he might provide financially for himself and those he may care for, or perhaps just because he sought to become a master of said trade. This process was called apprenticeship. Here's how it went (as far as I know...), there were those individuals who were "masters" of their craft, and sometimes they would take on apprentices. These apprentices were kids whose parents wished them to learn whatever trade/craft/etc. these masters engaged in. The child would live with the master, eat with the master, and most importantly, work with the master.
Now, excuse me for saying so, but this sounds like a fantastic method for learning. One-on-one training, relational development between student and master (imbuing the words of the master with a greater sense of honesty in the eyes of the pupil). Why have we forsaken this process? More importantly, why don't we go back to it? Suppose someone wanted to become an amazing photographer... The best way to learn to do so is with someone teaching you, allowing you to see how things are done first hand, and to do them yourself! This leads me to the second point of my rantings...

Discipleship...

I was engaged in quite an interesting conversation with my friend Brie the other day. I was speaking on large churches vs. small churches. Now, I work at a large church, you all probably know that. You all probably also know that I adore my job and it is an incredible blessing in my life. Brie also goes to a large church, in fact it's the same one I work at. My point was this "a smaller group/church is better than a large group/church." My examples were such things as heightened relationships, a deeper involvement from the 'pastor' in the lives of his congregation, and an altogether nimbler, more focused group of people. (bear in mind that all these things don't just happen within a smaller group, but rather have a heightened probability). Brie's response to this was many things. First she said that if the small group is so good, it will get larger as more people will attend it, (I didn't even combat this with the "few people do what is best for them" defense). My response was sort of what I talked about about above.
When Christ roamed this earth, teaching and working miracles, did he do all the work himself? Did he write down everything he did and then send it to people he didn't even know on a personal level, so that they could teach it? I don't think so. Christ had a group of twelve people. The apostles, remember them? Yeah they were a cool bunch... At least that's what I hear... Anyways, these twelves guys wandered around with Jesus, hanging out... Eating with him, sleeping with him... Learning from him.
So back to the whole small group thing (and yes, I'm aware that I switch topics suddenly... try talking to me, I'm even worse!) Shouldn't the leader of said small group be bringing up people within the small group to teach/preach for him in the instance of the group becoming too large for the relational development we're seeking here? So group A becomes a little too large, and when that happens, Carlito then takes a few of them and with the blessing of his mentor, Jerome, begins teaching them the 'truth' the Jerome has passed on to him. I say "truth" because anything taught should be labeled as such. At least from a third party... Sorry, tangent...

So I offer this real life example of what I'm talking about:

My friend (who shall go by the name Jubamba to protect his identity) is in a position of leadership, where
he is in charge of the spiritual growth and teaching of young people. Now whether or not I agree with such a position existing is not the point right now. The point is that Jubamba has under him, several "leaders" at his disposal. Who's main purpose is to help Jubamba with his job of raising these chitlins (young people). Now, in my mind, Jubamba should be training his leaders to be able to take on his job when he can't be there (say, his wife died... or got sick... or pregnant... or whatever). So in essence, Jubamba should be teaching these leader how to be a pastor (oops, did I say pastor?). Instead, the group remains quite large and the leaders are generally used to lead worship and keep the chitlins in line. Now it seems to me that this could be done even better if the group was split into smaller groups, all overseen by a "leader". Oh, having worship is fine in a large group. I'm fine with that... What I'm not fine with is one person teaching many and not using his resources well. Which I think is sort of an anthem for today's church... Heck, even world...

Who knows though, I could be wrong...