It's come to my attention...

Writing a blog is not like riding a bike...

I'll try anyways.

So, I've been on an interesting journey as of late. Destroying the mimicry of belief in christianity I had held onto for so long... Which left me with very little belief at all.. which sucks... I did have a thought today though...

Let me map my thoughts out to you...

"Man, last night was just weird... why do I get nervous around christians? I mean.. I'm never like that outside of a church setting..."

"Maybe you just don't want to be judged, and you feel like that happens more there, than other places"

"Yeah no... that doesnt even make sense... why would I think something that doesn't make sense?"

"Well... you are talking to yourself... er, myself... one of us..."

"Still, I don't think that's it... I mean, it could be it but... I dunno... Maybe it's because I want to fit in, and who I am now definitely doesn't fit in with what I believe christianity to be..."

"If that were true, then why would your strong christian friends treat you the same? They don't ever judge you..."

"Okay you know what? you're not helping..."

"I'm doing my best..."

"Hey I just had a thought! You know... I fully believe that there is a God out there, and that he is even a relational God... capable and even wanting (at times, at least) a relationship with us... So believing that, why do I care what Christians think?"

"Um... because some of those christians are your friends?"

"Right, I'm talking about like... I dunno, people that aren't my friends... I guess..."

"So then christianity doesn't even come into it when deciding whether or not to care if they judge you or not..."

"Hmmm, you're right... I think..."

"Here's the bottom line... you were refreshed from the trip to PA because of all the awesome people you met... the fact that they were christian worked only to allow realization that they aren't all pretentious, pious douche bags... What you need to do is pursue an intimate knowledge of God. If He's a relational Gd, He'll be there... And screw what other people say about smoking and drinking... until of course, you feel that God himself doesn't want you doing those things..."

"Intruiging..."

"Damn right it is..."